The Perennial EKIII Run FAQ:

Q: What's the scoop on the campground and the event? Reservations or pre-payment required?

A: None of the above. In the finest slimey 'n' sluglike tradition the best plan is no plan. Just show up on the weekend of August 1, 2014. We are in the same venue as last year - Hide-A-Way Lakes Campground on OH 84, southwest of Ashtabula, OH.

Q: I heard the non-flush toilets are kinda skanky. I dunno if I like the sounds of that.

Photo by by Bill Garlinghouse

A: That's why we moved to the new venue! The relative skankiness of the new crappers will shirley be a major ongoing discussion. Just show up!

Q: Who coordinates the event?

A: Nobody. Just show up. Someone or another sets up the campground in advance. Everybody else just wanders by.

Q: What about food and beer?

A: No worries, Ann usually springs for pizza on Friday night. Some pimp usually cages it or brings a trailer with cooking goodies, coolers, etc. for a 'pass-the-hat and go shopping' session. This year's venue is close to restaurants, gin mills and stores. Play it by ear and it all works out. You could probably stand losing a few pounds anyway. Just show up.

Q: Who goes to the EKIII Run?

A: Everybody that's anybody........ Assholes and assholes, left-coasters and right, Netscum that post as well as confirmed lurkers, Slugs and slugettes both Canucks and domestic. Even southern-fried mountain boys and Kalifornicators have been known to make the trip. Just show up.

Q: Are there shirts, numbers etc?

A: Someoneoranother occasionally brings some Ts. Expect to pay top dollar for one. But it all goes to Eddie, so it's all good. As for numbers, everyone that makes the trip is #1 in my book. Just show up.

Q: Where the fuck is Ashtabula, OH?

A: NE Ohio, on Lake Erie, about an hour north of Youngstown, an hour east of Cleveland, 10 minutes north of I-90 and a hop, skip and a jump from the PA/OH state line. You'll find out when ya get there. Just show up.

Q: Where's the "Run" go?

A: After picking up Eddie on Saturday, the group makes it's way through Ohio wine and 'Amish-horseshit-on-the-road' country to Eddie's Grill in Geneva on the Lake, OH. Located on Lake Erie, GOTL is a small 60s-style resort town complete with numerous gin-mills, old-style arcades and the typical resort-type attractions. Sometimes there's a side-trip going to or coming from. Just show up.

Q: What if I get sick/hurt/die? Are you prepared for emergencies?

A: We sometimes have our own exclusive emergency-responder that's experienced in dialing 9-1-1. Plus he'll serenade you while waiting for the EMTs. If the worst happens, he'll know cuz he knows what a dead body smells like cuz he's from New Jersey. See, we've got everything covered. Just show up.

Q: I'm too old/ugly/infirmed/lazy to camp. Are there motels nearby?

A: Ain't exactly across the street but this is America....... there's motels *everywhere*! The Cedars and the Ho Hum Motel are both on US20 within a few miles of the campsite. Just show up.

Or, if you'r eboth to old and infirm to camp, and "Don't do" motel parties, you can always make the excuse you have to take care of your crank-addled pomerainians, and commute from your home. Just show up ... Sleep someplace!

Q: The Run goes to a nursing home to pick up Eddie? I'm kinda antsy about nursing homes........ I *hate* hospitals and shit like that. I dunno if I'd be comfortable with that...

A: Your possible discomfort is shit compared to that of those who are unable to care for themselves. It makes their day seeing the scoots roll in. And for Eddie, it's his birthday, Christmas and a Netscum bash rolled into one. Just show up.

Q: I'm uncomfortable riding in a pack. Is the run safe?

A: No worries. Our lead-dog is so safety conscious he panic stops for yellow lights. Just show up (and practice your braking techniques before hand).

Q: I frequently x-post troll type crap using an anonymous remailer... will I be welcome at EKIII?

A: Your attendence at ANY Netscum event would be welcomed by many!!!! Almost *everyone* would love to meet you IRL. I'm sure in no time you'd be surrounded by well-wishers commenting on the sharing of your sage observations and thoughts. I doubt that any permanent disfigurement or injury would result... but ya just never know! I'd expect your keyboard tapping days would be over however. Just show up ... if you dare.

Q: I've been hanging around online for a long time dispensing my unique perspectives. Lately I've been changing usernames so those that've kill-filed my ass can still benefit from my sage wisdom. Will there be problems if *I* "just show up"?

A: Any personality conflicts, real or perceived, are best handled in person IMO. Or perhaps with some couch-time with yer friendly, neighborhood shrink. Worst that could happen is you may be shunned during the marshmallow toasting extravaganza. Decide who you wanna be for the day, Sybil, and show up anyway.

Q: I'm a clueless newbie who may have gotten off on the wrong foot. Will I get stomped if I show my face at an IRL event?

A: Nobody's a FNG after an EKIII Run. Might be just the opportunity to show yer true colors. Show up and find out.

Q: Geeez, I was planning on heading for Sturgis on that weekend.

A: WTF are you gonna see in Sturgis that you didn't see last year or the year before that? Or next year for that matter. Leave the run on Sunday, head straight there, and I promise you'll not miss a thing. Hell, you can watch the Sturgis recap on the Discovery Channel later and avoid the crowds, saggy tit-shows and getting blown all over the Interstate by the trailer parade. Just show up at EKIII instead.

Q: I'm concerned that someone, trying to impress their friends, would lack common sense and introduce glassware into a drunken party, and the possibility of the injuries it could cause if laying broken on the ground.

A: [Shrug] Shit happens ... Just show up and maybe you can provide the needed adult supervision.

Q: I'm way the fuck out in Utah. I can't get off work. I don't have enough annual leave. It's a long ride. I can't see to ride cuz of my long-assed hair. I need a shave. I take a cage to Long Island cuz I'm too much of a wuss to ride a motorcycle. And then I go right by my friend's places on the Interstate and don't so much as call.

A: You're closer to EKIII than you've been in years. You're even in the same country for a change. Get a haircut. Quit yer job, you're RETIRED! Quite whining and follow your missus, she's been here before and knows the way. Maybe we'll get to see her stuff your lard-ass inside her itsy-bitsy, liitle tent <sfsf> You could charge admission. Just show up.

Q: I'll be rolling in Thursday night or leaving Monday/Tuesday/whenever morning....... where should I stay.

A: TL's 'Lair-in-the woods' is 45 minutes south of GOTL. The Netscum Welcome-mat is always out. Just show up.

Q: What should my life's philosophy be?

A: As seen on one of EK's t-shirts, "Life is simple, show up....... ride a Harley"

EKIII 2013
Just show up


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